Random follow #258 - @shacklemore

Whats in a name?  Really?  In the name Shackleford Hurtmore there is more than one story going on.  In fact there are a few.  I don't what they are but they're there.   @shacklemore proudly announces two interesting facts about himself - 1. he's a Brit and 2. he lives in Auckland.

But its not what a person says about themselves in their bio thats important.  The bio is like a random introduction at a party when someone says - "Hey! Have you met ........?  He/she is into ......" and then they walk away.  There isn't a lot of depth there but you have a starting point from which to begin a conversation.

This is one account where there is absolutely no doubt about where a person stands on the issues/  Is a spade a shovel?  No!  Its a spade!  Thats a lot of how these tweets read.  Not negatively but direct.  Definitely direct.  Of that there is no doubt.  But don't be put off cos he a definite sense of humour that lightens the load.  Here take a look at what I mean -

"Instead of the "sale" shenanigans every weekend, why don't Briscoes just admit they double all their prices on weekdays?"  <-- genuine humour.  None of that beat around the bush stuff.

"If you ever retweet ken ring you are dead to me." <-- this is a NO BS zone!

"How come there was never an episode of Star Trek:TNG where they just parked in an obscure orbit and chucked a sickie to play GTA2360?"  <-- he definitely has some super style too.

"John Key at the UN: "I've been internationalising a really complicated situation in my head"" <-- he is able to provide a funny spin on politics too.

He RT's some really good stuff too.  All the stars are in his RT list - Cate Owen, Guy Williams and Bill Bennett.  In just a few words I describe the good gentleman as follows - funny, serious, straight up, brilliant, engaging, knowledgeable, not afraid to speak his mind.

What I like about @shacklemore is the mix of the serious with the hilarious.  Too much of one or the other can make a tweeter either too serious or not believeable.  Put the two together and you have a really great view of the world.  

"To follow or not to follow? That is the question."

Random follow #218 - @duckenvy

Not every great twitter account is a real person.  Some really fantastic accounts are one's where people take on a character or a persona that lets them tweet or interact in a different way than they normally would.  And its just those exact types of accounts that can bring a different type of hilarity and freshness to the social media world.

@duckenvy is just one of those accounts.  With a bio that reads "I'm not a real duck" you don't really know what you're going to get.  What I can say is that the Duck keeps it real and has an ability to drop some pretty cool one liner tweets.  Such as -->

"Schooly Dee Lite La Soul II Men At Work #BandMergers"

And the Duck also strings together different types of trending tweets to make a whole new thing -->

"#BetterBatmanThanBenAffleck #InMyPants"

No subject is off limits for the Duck -->

"You reckon we could get Labour to put up Tame Iti against Peter Dunne?"

But at the same time though alongside the funny tweets there is a certain undercurrent of brutal honesty that comes through as well.  Not trolling or attacking people but saying straight up what their thoughts are.  See here -->

"Yo, Aussie, fark ya nuclear tomatoes yo."

If you are in the hunt for a new twitter account that will both humour you as well as keep you on your toes then I recommend following @duckenvy.  Its like Forrest Gump's mumma said - "You never know what you're gonna get"

Random follow #210 - @IrnBruja

Some people (like me) have avatar pictures that look absolutely NOTHING like they do in real life.  In the case of todays tweeter their avatar of choice is a picture of The Rocketeer crossed with a hamster?  Anyway what does this mean?  Well not much too be honest if you're thinking about them as a person.

But if you are thinking about them as a social media personality and character then @IrnBruja is one of those awesome people who will keep you guessing.  And guessing in a good way.  Where is the beauty in social media if there is no mystery?

This young lady knows EXACTLY where she stands on the issues that affect her.  She is an outgoing, energetic, strong minded and yet completely friendly person who doesn't stand for any BS from anyone.  She has a really great amount of tweets and those tweets are really broad in both their appeal and their scope.

And when I say diverse here are a few examples - 

"11pm on a Tuesday. I'm drunk, listening to hip-hop and writing about reverse cowgirls. Life."  (I totally get this).

"Today fuelled by coffee and intense political discussion. Hungry though."  (Completely understand)

"Have quit both smoking and shaving under my arms. Both significant in different ways."  (This one I don't quite get)

So as you can see @IrnBruja has a very diverse set of interests and a very interesting approach to twitter.  She shares only that which she wants you to know (a definite bonus) and what you see is what you get.  Being Auckland based is neither here nor there really.  Her intense love for life coupled with a very interesting perspective on life  makes her a very welcome addition to any timeline.

And if you really do need any more convincing that @IrnBruja is actually awesome, then check out this tweet right here - 

"Things that do not go well together: a full stomach and an emergency stop."

('Nuff said)

Random follow #177 - @kiwipaula

Who said kiwi's can't fly?  New Zealander's can be found right around the globe from America to Antarctica.  From Brazil to Barbados.  And from Canada to Qatar.  And it is from 7 years of living in Qatar that today's tweeter comes to us.

@KiwiPaula and her family have lived - and sort of still do - live  in one of the warmest and wealthy
countries that exist on the planet today.  Qatar is a an Arab state that sits on a peninsular.  So everyone is pretty much surrounded by beaches.  Could there be any better place to live?  Sun, sand and surf?  Sounds amazeballs to me.

And after 7 years away living away from home Paula has brought her troop back to the land of green and kiwis.  Back

But what about Paula and twitter?  Why was it that you chose to blog about her I hear you say - well here are a few reasons why -

• Fantastic taste. "Fat Freddys Drop tickets in Sept. THIS is what moving home is all about #nz"
• An interesting point of view. "Love the NZ TV3 new item on police trousers. No more dry cleaning."
• WTF? " MBB gives me arse ache. What are people doing watching it? I despair."
• Call it as it is.  "Travelling with 15 items of checked in luggage. Including a TV and a surfboard. We are awesome. And 9kg over. #GoodbyeDoha"

Those are just a few tweets that give you a brief insight into @KiwiPaula and her tweets.  She is a highly interactive, usually cheerful, straight up, shoot from the hip kind of tweeter.  She doesn't mince her words but and uses them only as required.  She is lovely, honest and not afraid to say what she thinks.

Todays post is a bit short but some times its better for you to go and find out for yourself how good a tweeter someone is.  And that is especially true of Paula/

One neat thing about expats is that they bring a bigger world view than the rest of us.  And Paula does that to a tee.  She isn't a rock star tweeter but she is a mum, a wife and a woman making her way through this life one tweet at a time.  I am happy I pushed the follow button and I sincerely hope that you do too.

Random follow #175- @trishdotcom

Young, intelligent and attractive.  Three words which aptly describe today's random tweeter.  There are also a few other words we can use as well.  Hard working, industrious, ambitious, willing to take a risk and loyal.  A few more words.

@trishdotcom is each of the things I have written above to various degrees.  Just for the record we need to clear up a few things first - 1. She isn't related to Kimdotcom, 2. She isn't Kimdotcom's wife or partner, 3. She isn't an Internet financial billionaire (yet).

Trishdotcom is a tweeter I have followed for a while.  And then through a knee jerk reaction to a tweet (one in hindsight that was actually funny) I unfollowed her.  And then refollowed once I realized the error of my ways.  So it's been a bit of a journey in getting to this point.  But it's totally worth it.

There is a shift that occurs when you meet someone in real life. The shift for me occurred when I got to meet Trish a few weeks ago.  Her height is only outshone by her smile.  Her tweets which she shares online are a definite extension of her as a person.  There is no difference between the two.  So when she says at 2pm that "is it time for a beer yet?" She means it.

So what sort of tweets do you get?  Well let's have a look -

"Speaking from experience I can truly say Money does not buy happiness, but being able to be 100% myself has brought me total happiness :-D"  <-- That's some truth right there.

"Am I a bad girlfriend?, I forgot how to spell my boyfriends last name. After about 7 attempts he had to help me out."  Note - her boyfriends name is Adam....  :-p

"If you always tell the truth you don't need to have a good memory"

Just like her tweets Trish calls it as it is.  You know exactly where you stand.  She calls things straight and isn't afraid to call you out if she thinks you're talking rubbish.  On the flip side though she is incredibly loyal and will totally defend her friends through think and thin.

So if you enjoy a mix of tweets - from engaging, encouraging and enticing, a little bit of colorful language and recommendations to drink more beer and that is the lady herself.  If those aspects sound interesting then go for it and follow - follow - follow!!!

Random follow #169 - @Mikeyceviche

There are some people in life who just make their way happily along.  They don't cause a fuss, they are nice and no-one ever really takes much notice of them.  Those people are called wallflowers.

Then there are other people who for whatever reason are really polarizing.  Either people like them or they don't.  And today's tweeter is just that sort of person.  This account is actually the second or third profile this person has used.  Why?  Because there are only three things in life you can be certain of.  Death, taxes and change.

@Mikeyceviche is one tweeter for whom I have profound respect.  He is the most straight up guy you will ever find on twitter.  And it is that direct approach which some people just can't handle.  Mikey doesn't sit around waiting for permission before he says what he thinks.  If he thinks it - he will tell you.  Simple enough.

So whats there to like about him?  Well he is a kiwi who last year made the move from New Zealand and shifted his family to France.  So he tweets about the cuisine, the architecture, the beautiful women.  Oh yeah and pictures of his next child who is currently in his wife's womb under development.  So this latest version of Mikey is all about the beautiful things in life. 

Be warned!  There are no limits with Mikey.  Be it his colorful use of language or his calling people out you'll soon find out what I mean with tweets like these - 

"Some days I feel like breathing fire again. Blowing out those bullshit twitter accounts like a beneficiary eats noodles. MikeySmokes style"

"I fillet the fish with one stroke, the French watch me, saying "hes japanese" my knives are sharp I knock your girl up with one poke"

"Unfollow if you have some drama. Lord knows we been down that road 98765 times before"

"The name Nelson Mandela will be synonymous with self sacrifice, humility and most importantly forgiveness for a long time to come."

"That odds shift on Houston to win the NBA is ridiculous. Praise be to Allah #puntingAintEasy"

So as you can see he covers off a whole range of topics.  There is a whole lot of breadth that he covers.  Sports, food, boobs, family and f.....s.  Mikey is a man of passion and fire.  It is that passion and fire that fuels his tweets and his approach to life.  I followed the old account for years and I will follow this account for a few years as well.  Cos I really genuinely like his style.

If you want to follow someone who is straight up, calls it as it is and quite frankly isn't all that worried if you follow him or not then @Mikeyceviche is the person you're looking for.  This no holds barred account will either infatuate you or infuriate you.  Either way the choice is yours to follow or not.  if you don't like what you see - then go away and find someone you do like.  Because this brother is all about keeping it real.

Last word - go Mikey - 

"Personally, I never had any fear of anything. No man, woman or creature of this world scared me. But the fear of shaming my Mother is real"

Random follow #164 - @_snozzberry_

@_snozzberry_ is one tweeter who is setting social media on fire.  Like a drag racing car that leaves flames in its tracks - such is this tweeters approach to the twitterverse.  I can totally say that her raucous and hilarious tweets have been setting my timeline alight.  Livi is pretty much completely new to twitter having just broken the 800 tweets mark.  In this case the quality totally outweighs the quantity.

This straight shooter fires off her tweets faster than Chuck Norris can reload a M16.  A couple of days ago she asked the question - "When are you considered a "twitter sensation"? I'm asking because I just got my 50th follower?" - well I say that is Livi keeps going the way she is she will have her very own reality television show in no time at all!

So what is she like as a tweeter.  Well, try wrapping your laughing gear around this lot -

"Off to the ex, ex, ex mother in laws for dinner. "Where the rissoles taste the same as the stew taste the same as the bolognese" #yolo"

No subject matter is untouchable or not funny.  And she keeps going -

"Want to impress your workmates during #maorilanguageweek? Try "Kī tōnu taku waka topaki i te ngeru" (My hovercraft is full of cats)"

And the occasional musical opinion - 

"Ive listened to Lana Del Rays "Young and beautiful" way too much today. Might go home and eat cake with my hands in the shower."

This is a "no bull tweets" zone.  @_snozzberry_ brings seriously funny tweets to life.  These are not second and RT's or content copied from others.  Rather these tweets are delivered from a lady with a sharp intellect and a take no prisoners approach to sharing her views with the world.

Quite possibly the best description or disclaimer for this tweeter is the way she describes herself right here - 

"I hope people can interpret correctly when Im being sarcastic."

This twitter account right here is a rising star.   Follow her early so you can say you knew her before she made it big on TV.  p.s. if you have an irish accent - she will.  That is all.

Random follow #152 - @blairdrysdale77

The best part of this project has been the chance to discover everyday real people who use twitter both as a tool for communication as well as for learning and general entertainment.  And whats even better is that geographical boundaries don't exclude anyone.

@blairdrysdale77 is a good bloke who lives south of the Bombay Hills somewhere in the deep south at a place near Hauraki.  Being a farmer and having quite a broad range of interests and hobbies makes him even more interesting.  He is a husband, dad and volunteer firefighter.  "Vollies" as they are affectionately known fulfill one very important role in the community.  They pretty much do everything.  Be it cleaning up after a car accident, fighting fires, draining floods - these guys are usually the first one's on the scene so they deal with a lot.

Blair is a tweeter who doesn't take either himself or social media too seriously.  He has a healthy relationship with his twitter account.  and isn't too over the top about telling people what he is up to.  When he does tweet it is either in reply to someone who asked him something or he jumps into a conversation that is underway already.  Here are some examples of his straight up tweets that you will recognize come from the farm - 

The weather  "Today will be a day of preparation on the farm for the impending snow. Sounds like mother natures going to throw the shit against the fan."

The economy "Why is it that housing intetest rated are so much lower than agricultural rates that have productivity behind them. The solution=house %↑."  (Yes - the spelling mistake was already there.  LOL)

Home life "Wifes gone to Tuppaware party. WTF? I mean how do you have a party with cake tins?"

Life on the farm "Sweet. Kids in bed, beer in hand, home made pizza in the oven. Watching Country Calendar and then the ABs v France. Life is good."

And I've yet to meet a decent farmer who can't go a day without some sort of complaint - 

"For everyone on here that dislikes X-Factor so much, heres a hint, STOP f*en watching it! All the tweets are p*ing me off."

If you're looking for an honest, down to earth and straight as they come tweeter then @blairdrysdale77 is the account for you.  He is a good kiwi bloke who loves his wife, is kids, his work and being able to sit down put his feet up and watch the All Blacks belt out some decent footy.  

And the last word goes to Blair who shares his philosophy on social media which I believe sums things up nicely - 

"Twitters like a newly built bridge and road beyond not yet traveled. You never know where it might take you or the opportunities it brings."

 

Random follow #146 - @_surlymermaid

If you're keen to live life a little dangerously and enjoy taking a risk with your timeline then I can totally recommend @_surlymermaid.  Also know (currently) as Aunty Haurangi this is a tell it like it is twitter account.  Take no prisoners and pull no punches are the best cliche expressions to describe this account.

I am pretty sure that the bio for Aunty is correct (which I am not) and if it is then she is one smart cookie.

Don't read everything as truth as soon as you see it.  What you need to do is sift through the tweets and try and figure out which bits are genuine and which tweets are genuinely pulling your leg.  What I do know is that she is the boss.  And not a boss that is bossy if this tweet is anything to go by -

"Apparently cakes are on hold till afternoon tea. So much for me being the boss, i have even lost that decision making role!"

There is a real dark humor that flows through these tweets.  Not sarcasm, which really if the lowest form of wit, but an insightful and contrarian viewpoint resonates loudly.  Anyone can be sarcastic.  It takes someone with some smarts and a keen sense of humor to pull this world of the view off well.

"Well, after weirdly gaining 30 followers over the weekend, i lost 3 of them after my excessive #NativeAffairs tweeting THIS IS HOW I ROLL", or this -

"Things amusing me this morning: writing to the Dyslexia Foundation and managing to misspell dyslexia a different way every time"

Most people go to the mainstream and famous comics like Chris Rock or Sarah Silverman and dare I say it that Guy Williams fella...... but you don't have to!  Some of the tweets that are produced by @_surlymermaid will have your sides splitting and quite possible your pants being peed too. Like this - 

"The Mrs switched over q+a to stop me yelling at the tv. Now we are watching the Nation on tv3 + 1 and she is yelling. The dog remains silent", or

"Required: Social Media for Dummies (MP Edition)", or 

"Is Nicole ever going to get with a chick? #ShortlandStreet needs moar lady-lady action, stat"

Apologies if you don't find that sort of tweet funny but I do.  And this is my blog so I get to pick.  This tweet here probably says quite a lot about the about the approach taken to this twitter account -

"i completely understand. I feel so much freer and honest here. I keep hoping not too many people i know IRL join to change that."

I really hope that not many of those people join up 'cos this twitter account is damn fine just the way it is.  This irreverent, hardcase and all round funny.

Random follow #138 - @nukuroa

Quite possibly one of the most irreverent twitter accounts on the market today is @nukuroa.  To be fair I have no idea on how to read this account.  Is it straight up sarcasm?  Are the tweets intellectual thoughts laced with wit and a kick to the balls?  Yes to both.

I have been following Nukuroa for some time now and quite often I have to sit back and ask the question 'what is the real intention of this tweet?'

There are some funny one's too that aren't always what they appear to be straight off the bat.  Rather they are more like a curve ball that you think is headed in one direction but they skew towards the opposite at the last minute.  Tweet example -

"Didn't even realise the spelling bee thing on ESPN had finished. Hash tag: Time for moe ..."

and this one - "You are your 5 closest friends … what a disturbing thought."

What I do like about this account is that @nukuroa isn't afraid to tell it like it is.  Be it use of profanities, artistic design or straight in your face pointedness.  You know where he stands on an issue at any given point in time.  And he isn't afraid to make a mockery or take the mickey out of something.  Most often its something dumb someone has said or he takes a counter culture stance - 

"The SIS require my details. Hash tag: This is why you use encrypted messages, TOR, and … delete your tweets regularly people lol"

And then throw in some actual moments of genius and you get this - 

"Create a micro-business … with micro-money … for micro -customers. Hash tag: Success in the future is all about the micro."

So I can tell you my thoughts and observations on the twitter account that is @nukuroa.  But the only way to do this account any real justice is to follow it yourself.  And if you are going to follow then you probably want to read the bio first - 

"The irrelevant misgivings of a stupid white polynesian arse. Brain farts captured for eternity ... or until i restart again. Retards, I come in peace."

Seriously though - don't be put off by this writing.  It is in fact a true and accurate account of a twitter performer.  One who can entertain an incredible audience while still remaining true to himself.  I do actually think that @nukuroa is an undiscovered indie tweeter who inhabits a corner of twitter where many want to go but just don't have the balls (or the spine) to make it happen.

Random follow #102 - @sonjayelich

"Any healthy man can go without food for two days - but not without poetry."  Charles Baudelaire

Creative types abound on twitter.  Those who can knit, sew, cook, create art with their bare hands and today's person.  An artist who uses words.  Words can be both subtle as well as full of such force that they can knock you flat on your backside and then give you a good kick as well.

@sonjayelich is just that sort of creative type.  With a few books to her name and many poems published in various anthologies she is a very busy lady.  Writing is a profession and a past time that consumes days, weeks and months at a time in the search for just the right arrangement of words.  Even some of her tweets are given thought so that they too become a piece of poetry within themselves - 

"it was a blazing morning & now the sky is a pamphlet of grey. tomorrow will be raining."

Besides writing Sonja has what is quite possibly the most unique and interesting assortment of pictures on her tumblr page that I have ever seen assembled in one place.

Of all the tweeters who have been put through the Random Kiwi Tweeters mill so far I don't think any of them have shot quite as straight nor thrown a good tweet quite as well as Sonja does -

"PerfectMikeHosking just got unfunny" followed by......

"also - that man that drives that damn horse & cart thing is so smug - imma drop him off in Pokeno - with no shoes."

And her views of poetry and books in general - 

"at a poetry gig the other night i was really amazed to see poets reading their work straight off the cellphone. v cool."

"went to the cbd & bought a bk of heaven reading - Anne Carson's red doc> - with its slick columns of poetry. damn good layout. thick paper."

She doesn't fluff around with too many niceties and certainly doesn't pander to those who seek the limelight of social media.  Rather she offers a balanced and fair view of the world that keeps you thinking and on your toes.  While it would be easy to say that Sonja can be a bit dark I think that would be doing her a disservice.  I think instead that she is a realist and a call it like it is kind of person.  This quote from a media article will you give you some insight into her psyche and personality - 

"So I tried to create something accessible. I didn't write it to say war's good or bad. I just wrote it to say what it is."  (Source: http://www.theaucklander.co.nz/news/poets-virtual-war-gets-a-nod/1007165/)

Don't get me wrong Sonja is a very lovely person who interacts with tweeters in a nice and positive way.  She also shares positive stories and uplifting pieces that spring up from time to time.  With tweets like these you know she is a deep thinker with an interesting view of the world "i'll never forget it - some things are worth carrying around in the heart."

If you want to know more about Sonja herself (in a professional way) you can google her or alternatively you can just check out this link here.  And I don't normally do this but I thought I would share a video of her so you can get a better picture of the lady herself.

@sonjayelich is totally worth a follow.  She will entertain, challenge you and make you think.  The three essential aspects of both creativity and social media.  5 out of 5 stars.